When It Rains .....It Pours!!
Murphy’s Law...
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong at the worst possible time, all of the time, without fail, when you least expect it. This certainly could be true for most of us at some point in our lives and possibly on more than one occasion.
Losing my job was no longer my main problem...
When it rains, it pours!!
Recently I had experienced my darkest days yet, a 'heavy downpour' of problems. This could not have come at a worse time, just a few days before Christmas which incidentally was also my birthday. I had to face up to the reality that I could be dismissed from work for allegedly contravening a company policy. The company would obviously comply with the Labor Law where the necessary investigations and hearing would determine my fate. The festive period was going to delay the process because most of the staff had taken their annual vacation. This was terrifying news; darkness ominously seemed to fill my surroundings. This was not the only bad news I had received at the time; I got dreadful news that my mother was admitted to hospital after having a heart attack at her place of work. In light of this, losing my job was no longer my main problem. In the middle of all this, there were other unfortunate things that had happened, my finances began to run out and my sanity was being tested. It’s hard to imagine how one would cope with such bad luck, but I did and I want to share with you how you can too.
Why is this happening to me?
Everything was going pretty much okay in your life. You have worked hard at your career and have reaped the benefits of healthy finances, good family relationships, rewarding career and a vibrant social life. Without any warning, problems start to creep into your life but at first, you’re able to resolve the matter until you are faced with a life changing problem which threatens your ability to provide for your family. It could be issues with your health, your career or your business, but you can’t seem to find a way out no matter how you look at your situation. You ask the question, why is this happening to me? What have I done to deserve this? You begin to have feelings of uncertainty, embarrassment, failure, anger and loneliness. You consider giving up and letting nature take its course, you may have thoughts of abandoning everything and escaping this nightmare or even worse, suicide may cross your mind!!
How do you cope when things continuously go wrong?
Always look at the bigger picture, is this really something worth giving up your life for? You must learn to accept the inevitable and also the things you cannot change. When problems seem insurmountable, even the slightest thing that goes wrong when you’re already overburdened can make you feel that you are not in control and that the universe is somehow working against you. Don’t give in to that train of thought no matter how tempted you may be. Remember that worrying about your problems won’t make it go away. It has been said that 90% of the things that we worry about, do not actually come true and that we are adequately adept in dealing with the 10% of the things that actually do go wrong.
Try not to focus on the problem but rather on the solutions….
Don’t be overwhelmed by your problems, deal with them separately. Decipher its impact on your life and the people around you. Find out how the problem arose and whether you had any control over it, find out who else is affected and by what extent. Gathering as much information as possible about your problems will assist you in finding a speedy solution. I recommend keeping a journal or an electronic diary where you can list your problems, root causes and possible solutions. Personally I make use of One Note on my Windows Phone which allows me to update my thoughts and ideas at any time. You will soon realise that as you deal with and eliminate each of your problems in an organised manner, you get immediate relief and start regaining your confidence. Try not to focus on the problem but rather on the solutions, continually assess the solutions and when you are sure you have found an appropriate one, stick to it and follow it through.
Who can you turn to for help?
You may seek help from family, friends or colleagues that may have experienced similar problems as you. You can also consult with your spiritual advisor who will help you stay grounded and enlighten you about where you belong in the greater scheme of things. Don’t be disappointed if people don’t empathise with what you’re going through. It is not uncommon for you to feel isolated by people in your life that you thought you could rely on in times of need. I am not really sure why, but I guess it’s possible that people don’t know how to approach or comfort you or maybe they feel that they should give you space to work out your issues on your own. It is for this reason that I use social media like Twitter and LinkedIn for support and inspiration. Should you choose not to reveal your problems to anybody, you may make use of the internet which has an abundance of information and resources that may assist you in finding a solution to most of your problems. Words of caution though, take care to use only trusted websites when doing research on the internet.
Physical activity plays a key role...
Keep a healthy mind; steer clear of people or situations that are not important to you at this time. When you can’t change a situation, reframe the problem and focus on the positive things in your life. Learn from your problems and circumstances as it is the best opportunity for personal growth. Do things that always made you happy and find time to relax. Yoga, meditation and deep breathing can help relax your body and mind. Build a home gym or join the local gym or if you’re already a member, start working out regularly to stay fit. Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. Maintain a healthy diet and drink plenty of water to stay hydrated. Begin each day with a healthy breakfast, reduce your caffeine and sugar intake. This could prove difficult and I realise that it is much easier said than done, but try to cut down on alcohol and nicotine during times of problems. End your day with plenty of rest; keep your cool by getting a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow is a brand new day!!
